Chuck

So... it's realllll choppy, does that read well? Does the narrative structure make sense? Be honest.
 * The choppy nature of your writing is actually very intriguing, i didn't understand it and it was a tad distracting in the beginning but towards the end it worked very well. The fact that this essay is written backwards is a tad confusing for me as well as the jargin used to describe crew. If possible, consider working in some explanation involving this or why the mention of crew is even relevant other than you two share the interest.**
 * The choppy way you wrote your paragraphs was really distracting because your paragraphs were worded in a confusing way. The choppy nature just made it worse. When you talk about he says, she says, you didn't use any quotations. The vocabulary for crew isn't universal and I found myself getting confused.**

Today line-ups for Head of the Ohio were announced. I call Chuck. He has just arrived at work, and I’ve just gotten out of breakfast with the team. We talk about crew. He has just joined a master’s league, and he is fourth biggest erg on the team. People are already talking about making a “monster” four. He’d be boated in it. He says that the others in the boat would love him. He’s 53; he’d get a great handicap for the boat. We talk about crew. I’m new to coxing, but I’ve rowed for the last 4 years. I’ve just been boated in the varsity four for our first race. I hope my boat likes me. He says that he always knew that I would be great at telling people what to do.

Today I’m leaving for college. Chuck is driving me down to Richmond. I get to pick the music. I put on Exile on Main Street, since it’s one of our favorite albums. We talk about music. I try to play some music he hasn’t heard. It’s not hard. We talk about school. He tells me to be safe. He tells me to have fun. He gets serious. He tells me that everyone gets lonely, and that he is always here for me, that I can always call. He loves me. And he wants pictures when we get down there.

Today is WMIRA Championships. I meet Chuck after my race. He told me Mom cried when we beat Seton. We talk about the rush. He said we looked great out on the water. He told me he knew we’d win. I smile. I like proving him right. He told me he saw me trip down the dock before my race.

Today is my first day at Wilson. I get breakfast before school with Chuck. We sit. We don’t talk. I watch him. He looks disappointed, and I know it’s my fault. I eat my eggs, hash browns, and toast. He eats his eggs, hash browns, and toast. I want to ask for the comics, but I’m too nervous to talk. I wonder when we will work through this. I don’t even think I can make him smile.

Today is my 18th birthday. I’m getting matching tattoos with Chuck. We’re getting the DC flag. We talk about manning up. He tells me that he never thought he’d get a tattoo. He makes fun faces. I tell to quit his whining. We talk about dinner. Korean is one of our favorites. We finish up. He asks me how much to tip, and tells me to go ask one of the other employees. He tells me that he can’t wait to get another.

Today is my Chuck’s 52nd birthday. I’m going out to CityZen with Chuck. I get to wear the brand new dress he bought me to go out in. We talk about the sommelier. He had full sleeves. We talk about food. It is exquisite. I want to take a box of little rolls home. I call him an old man. He says that he’s aging like a fine wine. Today my I got to the gym. Chuck comes to lift with me. He tells me that he can lift the whole stack on the leg press. We talk about training. He struggles on militaries. I call him a pansy and tell him to keep pushing through. I struggle on militaries. He smirks and spots me. We get through our reps and move on. He gets sweaty and gross. I do jump squats between reps. He says he can’t wait for dinner after this.

Today is my 16th birthday. Chuck takes me out to breakfast before school. We spend a lot of time debating which restaurant to go to. We talk about the difficulty of finding a good 24-hour breakfast place. It’s five in the morning. I get eggs, hash browns, and wheat toast. He gets eggs, has browns, and rye toast. He reads the paper. I get the comics. We trade. He calls me a spaz when I trip out of the car.

Today is my first race. Chuck drops me off at the boathouse around six. We race around noon and I look out of the boat at the finish to see him. We came in second to last. He tells me I looked good. I complain about my blisters. He tells me to suck it up.

Today is my first day at Seton. I go out to my first five a.m. breakfast with Chuck. I am nervous. We talk about high school. I tell him how much I hate uniforms. He tells me that I better get used to it.

Today my mother told me to write an essay. She wants me to write it for Chuck. She thinks it will help him. She knows he is having trouble with what happened. She wants him to understand that I don't blame him. She wants him to understand that I still love him. She wants him to understand that I'm ok. She tells me that he loves me.

Today in March 12th 2007. I am lazing about the house with Chuck. We just got back from a ski trip. We are doing chores. I think I see him in the corner of my eye. The man in my peripherals is actually a stranger. I wonder where Chuck has gone. In my room I can here him banging around pots in the kitchen. I wish I could call out. I can here him stomp around as the man wanders around our second floor. I am told to go get him. I tell him to come to the living room. We are told to wait on the floor. We wait face down and count to 100. He tells me that we will be ok.**I had to read this twice to understand what exactly happened, possibly make the situation more clear for the reader. Does he feel guilty that he couldn't do anything about being robbed? I need more explanation.**

Today I am that essay my mother wanted me to four years late. I’m writing it for Chuck. We don’t talk about it. I know he blames himself. I know it’s not his fault. I know it’s why we are so close. He and I have gone through some of the most difficult times in our lives together. He has also been the reason for some of the best times of my life. He has made me who I am, and continues to shape my person. He is my real life Superman. He is my father.